Sadness with a pinch of hope

Sadness with a pinch of hope

Life is really unfair. Sometimes I am really happy when, just for once, things go my way, when I get what I want, and everything is nice. And then, life throws a curveball at me, and I lose my calm, my faith, and my patience. I admit that I am the biggest pessimist there is, I start to think worst of everything. With every down moment in my life, I feel like giving up a lot of times, I stay depressed, I constantly worry, and constantly overthink. I start cursing at my luck, that all of these bad things are happening to me because I am born with a sucky luck, which doesn’t want to favour me ever. Life seems so ugly and worthless to me at times, that I miss something although trivial, yet very vital—it could have been worse, but it isn’t. Everything is still  fine and will get better.

One of the most difficult point in my life has been when my little brother was so sick that he ended up being in the ICU for weeks. The doctors couldn’t put a finger on what exactly was wrong with him, and for days the issue couldn’t be diagnosed. My brother was fading by the day, and at one point we all thought that he didn’t have much time left. It was such a challenging time for my family as a whole. We all had completely lost any hopes we had left. Since my parents would stay in hospital beside my brother, sleeping with my grandparents one night I cried to have my brother back with me. I cried so much that at one point I was tired of it, in that moment I realised, if I want things to be better, I need to do something about it. From next day on, I started visiting him with a newfound hope and faith in myself that everything will be okay. I made sure we ate together, tried to do something fun, I tried to get him off the bed which he had been lying for days and made him walk. Soon those wobbly and weak steps changed into running around and jumping. By the grace of god, he was recovering. Within few days he was discharged. It was such a happy moment for us all. We felt a great relief that he is back, he is healthy, and he is with us still.

We celebrated his seventeenth birthday yesterday, he is growing up so fast! It was such a journey when I look back at that time when he was sick. I see him now and I realise that one should never ever lose hope. Life will be really difficult at times, we will feel like giving up and losing hope, but at that moment I hope you stop, breathe and believe that there is still hope. There could’ve been worse things, absolutely worse things, but life doesn’t end there. It can’t. Just because it’s been a long, dark night doesn’t mean that there won’t be sunrise tomorrow.

Never lose hope, keep some in you always no matter how tough life gets, and you’ll see how slowly, things will start to look up.

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Let’s shower compliments

Let’s be real, who doesn’t love it when they get a lot of compliments from people? Safe to say that, indeed we all do. Compliments have such a power to lift not only the receiver’s mood, but also boosts their confidence. It doesn’t need any pointing out, but compliments are absolutely free, and takes no effort at all. So, my post here will be dedicated to the positivity compliments bring to a person.

In today’s day and age of internet and the anonymity that accompanies it, it seems very convenient for people to put other people down and throw a lot of shade, while safely hidden behind their masks. It is very easy to type in a few words, and be satisfied that we spoke our heart out about this person, and they won’t even know that it was ever us. Seldom does one realise what kind of effect this has on the person who reads through these shaming and criticism about them. Now some people might ignore the kind of negativity which lurks on the internet, and in fact in our day-to-day lives, but some do suffer a lot because of this. It has severe ramifications on their self-confidence, and sometimes it does even lead to depression, and self-doubt.

Stop and think for a while, how nice would someone feel when you shower them with compliments? Very nice. Our words of encouragement not only brings a smile on someone’s face, but might also make their day. In a way, we might help bring someone’s lost confidence back.

Personally, I sometimes get very critical about things. I start pointing out the flaws too fast. It is when I am on the receiving end of critical comments do I realise that maybe we don’t need to be critical and negative all the time. For a change, let’s try to light up someone’s day with compliments. It won’t cost us a thing, but will bring a million dollar smile on someone’s face. Life is too short to waste all the time in complaining and not spreading joy. Compliment everyone! Tell them how nice they look, or anything else that you fancy.

 

How about you start by showering compliments on this post? ( I am just saying :p)

 

Why I’ll never get a pet

First of all, SORRY for just disappearing like that and not updating my blog like I should have. A lot of stuff has happened in the meanwhile, but I cannot point to one reason for my absence. I had so much to write but when I’d try nothing would come out in form of words. I got so frustrated that I stopped. I realized that just leaving and giving up is the worst solution to tackle my problem. The best is to try. Anyway, back to the post!

Let me just say this, I am addicted to dog videos on Instagram. Not even dogs, but videos of pets in general. So cute, so precious! They just take my breath away. I know I am not the only one who feels the same. Whenever I see them I mentally decide that; okay that’s it, I’m going to adopt a pet now. I get lost in my day dreams of bringing home a bundle of joy, kissing its tiny, soft head, putting it to bed, taking thousands of photos of them. I get giddy just thinking of it all. I think about how better my life would get after I have myself a pet. Someone to hug and talk to, and love with all my heart and soul.

However, there’s a lot more to this picture than I thought of. Thinking about having a pet is all nice and good, but we need to remember that with a pet comes a lot of responsibilities. It’s almost similar to having a human baby. For those who live alone by themselves, and are working, they specially struggle a lot with pet issues. There is no one to look after these furry ones once you are out of the door. Not only does it impact the pet parent, but also to the pet themselves. If I was to get a pet, I would constantly stress, and worry about how my pet is doing when I am away from it. This would have ramifications on my work life, and social life. This issue can be taken care of, by this I mean by hiring someone to look after it, or leaving your pet at the day-care centres for them.

However, there is still one massive downside of having a pet; coping up with their loss. Words cannot do justice to what I feel when I think of this scenario, of saying last goodbye to my pet, who has been with me for years, through the thick and thin. Speaking for myself here, I would not be able to handle such a huge loss. Their absence would leave an unfillable hole in my life and in my heart. Death sure is inevitable, and I know for a fact that, sooner or later, our loved pets are going to leave us, but to avoid that pain, I have decided to not bring a pet in my life. It may sound like a stupid reason to some of you, but it works for me. I love animals, and I would love to have, like, a 100 pets (if possible). But, I just don’t want to see them die. I want to avoid that horrendous pain as much as I can. So, I decided to not get a pet. But it goes without saying, I will not stop loving animals in general, and helping the needy ones. Personally, it seems like there won’t be any pets for me in the future.

 

Other POVs are most welcome!

Mr.Will

Mr.Will

After a long hiatus, I have finally resurfaced on our beloved planet Earth. I know no one’s really interested in knowing where I have been all this while, but I’ll tell you anyway, I was suffering from a rather MAJOR writers block. When I say major, I mean major. It’s not that I didn’t have ideas, I did, but nothing concrete, you know what I mean? Most I could get out of those ideas in words was barely two sentences. This highly discouraged me from continuing, and I would end up erasing those sentences too, which left me with nothing, but a blank word page. I got so tired of this happening all the time that I actually stopped trying to write anything. The whole essence of having a blog just vanished in thin air because of this. However, I realised one thing- if I had willed that I have to write something, I would have. It does not matter how many sentences or pages I could fill, but the fact that I am, at least, writing something. So, this blog post is entirely dedicated to our mate – will, i.e. intending something, because this guy right here can move us to do anything – quite literally.

If you think that I won’t be making a reference to philosophy here, then I have to tell you, you are most certainly incorrect. (Shame on me, being a student of philosophy if I can’t see the day to day things with a philosophical angle). Talking about will, one philosopher that immediately comes to my mind, who has written extensively on will is Immanuel Kant, one of the biggest names in the world of philosophy. Although, he hasn’t exactly written about will in general, but he does write about what he calls as a “good will”. By which, he means a will which is absolutely good in nature and unconditional. However, that is a different thing, and I wouldn’t bore you more with it. What I am trying to write about here is how will plays a huge a** role in making us do things in life. It can be seen as the driving force.

We all have different aims and goals in life, but not all of us are lucky enough to have achieved them. Sometimes we do work towards them, but still fail in achieving the targets set by us. It makes us wonder, as to what was lacking in us, due to which we didn’t get what we aimed for, and only after deep contemplation does one realise that we lacked a definite will. If one possess in them, a will to do something, then there is nothing which can stop them for getting what they wants. Nothing is impossible, if you have Mr Will by your side, motivating you, and guiding you towards your goal. I realised that I lacked will to write, and this realisation is the first step towards correcting your flaws and overcoming them. So, just have a will, and trust me, all you want will be yours.

Willing-to-not-be-lazy-and-actually-being-productive-for-once

Signing off for now,

GLA

Whose birthday is it?

Whose birthday is it?

As soon as one’s birthday month approaches, one is filled with certain excitement and eagerness. Well, in my case, its dread and not excitement. Now, you may ask why, and you should too. You may begin by telling me and bringing to my notice all things nice about birthdays, like how it comes just once a year, how it’s a special day, and so on. I have got my reasons for being apprehensive about it, and I’ll be sharing why.

The trend at the moment about birthdays is such that, the one who has his/her birthday is expected to throw a party, and mind you, the party better be good. The burden of planning the party, and making sure that it is nothing short of perfect lies rather heavily and unnecessarily on the birthday girl/boy itself. Now, that is when I really start having second thoughts about birthday parties. Isn’t the person who has their birthday supposed to feel special? Aren’t they just for once supposed to sit back and actually enjoy their day, rather than making it special for the people who they wish to be present during the celebrations? Let’s face it, birthdays have become more about others than ourselves. It’s more about pleasing others, catering to their needs and wants. The pressure of throwing a big party, with all the food and drinks, and not to mention, a perfect venue is such that a lot of times it leaves a big gaping hole in the pocket.

So it makes me question, whose birthday is it? Is it even my birthday? Is it for me? Or is it for others? The answer to it is quite simple, it is MY birthday, and I will not be pressured into throwing a party just for the heck of it. Even if I do throw one, it would be in keeping in mind my needs and my comfort. Birthdays should make me anticipate it, rather than dread it when it approaches. It should be a day that’s made special by my near and dear, and it doesn’t necessarily include them throwing me party, or getting me fancy gifts. Just a promise of being there with me through the thick and thin, and actually keeping that promise is the biggest gift one could give me.

Throughout these years, there is something I have noticed, that is birthdays are an occasion for some “friends” to come out of their hibernation to look for free food and booze. Yup, I know plenty of them. These are the  ‘so-called friends’ who are nowhere to be seen for good portion of the year, without any contact or communication with us, but somehow resurface on the face of the earth near our birthdays (the smell of free food and drinks has a strong pulling power). These people will never bother about what is going on in our lives, but do actively be a part of the birthday planning. Then there are people who will order a lot of stuff if you take them out, without having the decency of asking us if we are comfortable in paying for it or not. Long story short, people will always try to make it about them than us, which in turn makes the whole idea of birthdays no more than an obligatory celebration, and an opportunity to show off, and put ourselves in uneasy and unpleasant situation.

For me, birthdays have lost their charm due to the growing pressure of throwing lavish parties. But, I have decided to not let others spoil the day for me. I will not let it be about others, but for once I will put myself first. I will do what makes me happy and not what makes me distressed. I will not be swayed by what others say or what the current trends  for celebrating birthdays are. I will put the money that would go in pleasing others in using it for me, and for those who are need.

Let us all try to have a happy birthday for once.

 

Jealousy? Envy?

Jealousy? Envy?

I won’t say it’s anything new, but I just know that from my childhood days, I am a person who gets jealous and envious really, really fast. Anytime I see someone having things better than me, or being in a place better than me, or literally any other small thing, affects me in many different ways. As many of you (or few of you), who might just accidently stumble upon this article in my blog, the first impression you’ll have of me wouldn’t be that nice. I understand that, jealousy really isn’t healthy all the time. But, for a change, may I say that it does have a bright side too? At least for me, it does lead to some nice results.

Life in general isn’t fair to us at many times. We see people reaching different heights, being someplace you want to be, even before you embark on the journey to reach there. As they break this “happy” news to you, the very first emotion that you feel is a pang of jealousy and envy, and then maybe, followed by a dull and superficial contentment for them. It is bitter-sweet. You are happy for them, and unhappy for yourself that you couldn’t make it there. But guess what? Let this pang of jealousy motivate you to achieve even better heights for yourself, and that is exactly what I always do.

I remember this particular incidence from my school days when I was in tenth grade. Two of my good friends were getting a prize for academic excellence. While I was happy that they were getting it, I wasn’t really happy for myself for just sitting there in audience, applauding half-heartedly, while hurting and feeling upset that I couldn’t get that prize that year. When they met me after the prize giving ceremony, the first thing they said to me was that it must be hard for me to see them getting a prize while not getting one myself. Yes. It did hurt and I was really sad. I decided to not let the jealously affect me negatively, but to make the best out of this jealousy itself. I felt motivated because I wanted to win a prize too, I wanted to achieve something. I worked very hard throughout the year, spent a lot of time improving myself. The fruit of that hard work was really sweet. I managed to win a prize of my own the next year, and it felt wonderful. It is a small incidence but it gives out a clear a message to everyone, that it is normal, yes, really normal to get jealous. However, there’s an extent to which jealousy is normal. Too overdo it is unhealthy.

If life didn’t throw any challenges at us, and didn’t show us that people are going to be ahead of us at times, we wouldn’t feel motivated to get better. Let other’s success move you towards your own. Make the best of your jealously and envy, and make the best of you.

P.s : Making “Work Bitch” by Britney Spears your mantra, it really works.

I saw him standing there

I saw him standing there

I saw him standing there,
with a touch of gray in his hair,
and some in his beautiful stormy eyes too.
He stared at a couple half our age,
who basked in each other’s loving embrace.
They saw each other with a warm look,
seated in the dim corner of a library,
shielded from people’s judgmental stares,
behind a wall full of books.

My man looked at them,
with a lot of envy and took a deep sigh.
For he too longed to touch my body,
without the crowd shaming us,
whenever they saw us holding hands,
as we passed them by.

He wants me to remember him all the time.
So, he leaves small love marks on my muscular body.
But, instantly regrets it,
that it might not go down well with somebody.
He is scared to let the cat out of the bag,
pondering about it makes his strong and firm shoulders sag.

I tried and I tried,
to suppress my feelings,
Under the overwhelming pressure from my parents.
I tried to feel love again,
In the gentle, yet unfamiliar arms of my new lover.
But alas, my attempts were futile.
For those arms didn’t feel the same as my man’s,
that love wasn’t complete,
that passion wasn’t there.

I laughed at my parents and told them,
that no woman can be compared,
to my man’s love and care.
I resolved then and there,
that people can say anything behind my back for all I care,
I was told that love sees nothing.
So I can love a man even though I am one,
because love is crazy,
So I can love anyone , and it will still be fair.

by Sonali singh
(who firmly believes that all love is equal,and all kinds of love matter)