As soon as one’s birthday month approaches, one is filled with certain excitement and eagerness. Well, in my case, its dread and not excitement. Now, you may ask why, and you should too. You may begin by telling me and bringing to my notice all things nice about birthdays, like how it comes just once a year, how it’s a special day, and so on. I have got my reasons for being apprehensive about it, and I’ll be sharing why.
The trend at the moment about birthdays is such that, the one who has his/her birthday is expected to throw a party, and mind you, the party better be good. The burden of planning the party, and making sure that it is nothing short of perfect lies rather heavily and unnecessarily on the birthday girl/boy itself. Now, that is when I really start having second thoughts about birthday parties. Isn’t the person who has their birthday supposed to feel special? Aren’t they just for once supposed to sit back and actually enjoy their day, rather than making it special for the people who they wish to be present during the celebrations? Let’s face it, birthdays have become more about others than ourselves. It’s more about pleasing others, catering to their needs and wants. The pressure of throwing a big party, with all the food and drinks, and not to mention, a perfect venue is such that a lot of times it leaves a big gaping hole in the pocket.
So it makes me question, whose birthday is it? Is it even my birthday? Is it for me? Or is it for others? The answer to it is quite simple, it is MY birthday, and I will not be pressured into throwing a party just for the heck of it. Even if I do throw one, it would be in keeping in mind my needs and my comfort. Birthdays should make me anticipate it, rather than dread it when it approaches. It should be a day that’s made special by my near and dear, and it doesn’t necessarily include them throwing me party, or getting me fancy gifts. Just a promise of being there with me through the thick and thin, and actually keeping that promise is the biggest gift one could give me.
Throughout these years, there is something I have noticed, that is birthdays are an occasion for some “friends” to come out of their hibernation to look for free food and booze. Yup, I know plenty of them. These are the ‘so-called friends’ who are nowhere to be seen for good portion of the year, without any contact or communication with us, but somehow resurface on the face of the earth near our birthdays (the smell of free food and drinks has a strong pulling power). These people will never bother about what is going on in our lives, but do actively be a part of the birthday planning. Then there are people who will order a lot of stuff if you take them out, without having the decency of asking us if we are comfortable in paying for it or not. Long story short, people will always try to make it about them than us, which in turn makes the whole idea of birthdays no more than an obligatory celebration, and an opportunity to show off, and put ourselves in uneasy and unpleasant situation.
For me, birthdays have lost their charm due to the growing pressure of throwing lavish parties. But, I have decided to not let others spoil the day for me. I will not let it be about others, but for once I will put myself first. I will do what makes me happy and not what makes me distressed. I will not be swayed by what others say or what the current trends for celebrating birthdays are. I will put the money that would go in pleasing others in using it for me, and for those who are need.
Let us all try to have a happy birthday for once.