Whose birthday is it?

Whose birthday is it?

As soon as one’s birthday month approaches, one is filled with certain excitement and eagerness. Well, in my case, its dread and not excitement. Now, you may ask why, and you should too. You may begin by telling me and bringing to my notice all things nice about birthdays, like how it comes just once a year, how it’s a special day, and so on. I have got my reasons for being apprehensive about it, and I’ll be sharing why.

The trend at the moment about birthdays is such that, the one who has his/her birthday is expected to throw a party, and mind you, the party better be good. The burden of planning the party, and making sure that it is nothing short of perfect lies rather heavily and unnecessarily on the birthday girl/boy itself. Now, that is when I really start having second thoughts about birthday parties. Isn’t the person who has their birthday supposed to feel special? Aren’t they just for once supposed to sit back and actually enjoy their day, rather than making it special for the people who they wish to be present during the celebrations? Let’s face it, birthdays have become more about others than ourselves. It’s more about pleasing others, catering to their needs and wants. The pressure of throwing a big party, with all the food and drinks, and not to mention, a perfect venue is such that a lot of times it leaves a big gaping hole in the pocket.

So it makes me question, whose birthday is it? Is it even my birthday? Is it for me? Or is it for others? The answer to it is quite simple, it is MY birthday, and I will not be pressured into throwing a party just for the heck of it. Even if I do throw one, it would be in keeping in mind my needs and my comfort. Birthdays should make me anticipate it, rather than dread it when it approaches. It should be a day that’s made special by my near and dear, and it doesn’t necessarily include them throwing me party, or getting me fancy gifts. Just a promise of being there with me through the thick and thin, and actually keeping that promise is the biggest gift one could give me.

Throughout these years, there is something I have noticed, that is birthdays are an occasion for some “friends” to come out of their hibernation to look for free food and booze. Yup, I know plenty of them. These are the  ‘so-called friends’ who are nowhere to be seen for good portion of the year, without any contact or communication with us, but somehow resurface on the face of the earth near our birthdays (the smell of free food and drinks has a strong pulling power). These people will never bother about what is going on in our lives, but do actively be a part of the birthday planning. Then there are people who will order a lot of stuff if you take them out, without having the decency of asking us if we are comfortable in paying for it or not. Long story short, people will always try to make it about them than us, which in turn makes the whole idea of birthdays no more than an obligatory celebration, and an opportunity to show off, and put ourselves in uneasy and unpleasant situation.

For me, birthdays have lost their charm due to the growing pressure of throwing lavish parties. But, I have decided to not let others spoil the day for me. I will not let it be about others, but for once I will put myself first. I will do what makes me happy and not what makes me distressed. I will not be swayed by what others say or what the current trends  for celebrating birthdays are. I will put the money that would go in pleasing others in using it for me, and for those who are need.

Let us all try to have a happy birthday for once.

 

Jealousy? Envy?

Jealousy? Envy?

I won’t say it’s anything new, but I just know that from my childhood days, I am a person who gets jealous and envious really, really fast. Anytime I see someone having things better than me, or being in a place better than me, or literally any other small thing, affects me in many different ways. As many of you (or few of you), who might just accidently stumble upon this article in my blog, the first impression you’ll have of me wouldn’t be that nice. I understand that, jealousy really isn’t healthy all the time. But, for a change, may I say that it does have a bright side too? At least for me, it does lead to some nice results.

Life in general isn’t fair to us at many times. We see people reaching different heights, being someplace you want to be, even before you embark on the journey to reach there. As they break this “happy” news to you, the very first emotion that you feel is a pang of jealousy and envy, and then maybe, followed by a dull and superficial contentment for them. It is bitter-sweet. You are happy for them, and unhappy for yourself that you couldn’t make it there. But guess what? Let this pang of jealousy motivate you to achieve even better heights for yourself, and that is exactly what I always do.

I remember this particular incidence from my school days when I was in tenth grade. Two of my good friends were getting a prize for academic excellence. While I was happy that they were getting it, I wasn’t really happy for myself for just sitting there in audience, applauding half-heartedly, while hurting and feeling upset that I couldn’t get that prize that year. When they met me after the prize giving ceremony, the first thing they said to me was that it must be hard for me to see them getting a prize while not getting one myself. Yes. It did hurt and I was really sad. I decided to not let the jealously affect me negatively, but to make the best out of this jealousy itself. I felt motivated because I wanted to win a prize too, I wanted to achieve something. I worked very hard throughout the year, spent a lot of time improving myself. The fruit of that hard work was really sweet. I managed to win a prize of my own the next year, and it felt wonderful. It is a small incidence but it gives out a clear a message to everyone, that it is normal, yes, really normal to get jealous. However, there’s an extent to which jealousy is normal. Too overdo it is unhealthy.

If life didn’t throw any challenges at us, and didn’t show us that people are going to be ahead of us at times, we wouldn’t feel motivated to get better. Let other’s success move you towards your own. Make the best of your jealously and envy, and make the best of you.

P.s : Making “Work Bitch” by Britney Spears your mantra, it really works.

I saw him standing there

I saw him standing there

I saw him standing there,
with a touch of gray in his hair,
and some in his beautiful stormy eyes too.
He stared at a couple half our age,
who basked in each other’s loving embrace.
They saw each other with a warm look,
seated in the dim corner of a library,
shielded from people’s judgmental stares,
behind a wall full of books.

My man looked at them,
with a lot of envy and took a deep sigh.
For he too longed to touch my body,
without the crowd shaming us,
whenever they saw us holding hands,
as we passed them by.

He wants me to remember him all the time.
So, he leaves small love marks on my muscular body.
But, instantly regrets it,
that it might not go down well with somebody.
He is scared to let the cat out of the bag,
pondering about it makes his strong and firm shoulders sag.

I tried and I tried,
to suppress my feelings,
Under the overwhelming pressure from my parents.
I tried to feel love again,
In the gentle, yet unfamiliar arms of my new lover.
But alas, my attempts were futile.
For those arms didn’t feel the same as my man’s,
that love wasn’t complete,
that passion wasn’t there.

I laughed at my parents and told them,
that no woman can be compared,
to my man’s love and care.
I resolved then and there,
that people can say anything behind my back for all I care,
I was told that love sees nothing.
So I can love a man even though I am one,
because love is crazy,
So I can love anyone , and it will still be fair.

by Sonali singh
(who firmly believes that all love is equal,and all kinds of love matter)

Disability is not inability

They say when God made humans, He made us with a purpose and with some talent which is unique to each and every one of us. But life is unexpected. One can never know what turn it will take next, and what situation it will put us in. Not every one of us has the privilege of having all their facilities working properly, either since birth or due to some horrific accidents. It is after such incidents in one’s life that they sometimes lose their sense of purpose, and start perceiving life as unfair and difficult. Each passing second seems bleak and hopeless, and they simply resign themselves to their fate. Yet, some of us, even after such a pitfall, refuse to let fate govern their lives. Instead, they make their own fate.

No one is born perfect, but it is in our imperfections that we can find perfection. If one is motivated and determined to achieve their goals and ambitions in life, then nothing can stop them, except themselves.  One should realize that life is what we make of it. It is like clay, and we possess in our hands the ability to shape it in the way we want. Nothing is impossible, and disability surely does not mean inability. It presents no impassable hurdle to those who dream big in life and work hard for it. Life will be full of obstacles, and it depends on us, whether to stop at such obstacles, or to overcome them and make something beautiful out of life.

So,go ahead and live your dreams!

Question Everything That Can Be Questioned

Question Everything That Can Be Questioned

My first ever philosophy lecture was very intriguing. I was new to this subject, and knew nothing about it. During the lecture, the one thing (apart from many other things) that caught my attention was the fact that philosophy as a subject seeks to question anything and everything. To find the deep underlying truth of theories, subjects, norms, tradition, or simply, the universe in general. One thing that sets the students of philosophy, and those people who are associated with it, apart from others is that they will rarely take things at face value. The philosopher in them would not be content and sated with just a partial truth. They have a deep thirst for knowing the entire truth, which seldom gets quenched by an incomplete investigation and analysis. A normal person will look at, say, a cube from just one angle, but it is a philosopher who will rotate, and turn the cube to examine it from each and every possible angle. Philosophy hence, requires an individual to analyse, to examine, to question and to seek answers which are wholesome and complete.

Having studied philosophy for over two years now, it has definitely changed me and made me a more intellectual person. I have begun to raise questions, and not shy away from expressing my doubts. The teaching in schools, and colleges never ask us to actually think, rather everything to us is served to us on a platter, which sure makes us aware of things, yet makes us  blissfully ignorant about them. The social norms are never questioned, but simply accepted by us, but if you ever go about analysing them, you’ll tend to find absurdities and unexplained ideas behind them. So, it is wise to ponder deeply about what you receive from the society, and form your own ideas. It polishes your intellectual skills, improves your thinking, and makes you into an evolving individual. To always take what you get, and not question will lead to no progress and growth. It’s never too late to start channeling our inner philosopher, and to start looking for the basis, the credibility and the complete truth of things in life, because just like Socrates (the famous philosopher) said, “An unexamined life is a life not worth living”.

 

Let’s start putting our good-old brain to better use

Happy questioning!

Why it’s okay to spend New Year’s Eve at home

With 2017 just hours away, I know that all most of us can think of right now is partying. Most of us  spends weeks, and even months planning that perfect New Year Eve’s party, what clothes to wear, which place to celebrate, and so on. Partying on New Year’s eve has become such a trending ritual, that it doesn’t even feel like the New Year has come until we bring it on with a wild, and loud party. I’ll admit it myselfI’ve fallen prey to the party trend too, and theres absolutely nothing wrong with itBut my question is, is it the only way that we can ring in the New Year? Cant the New Year celebration just be about us, sitting in our warm bed, not bothering about what dress to wear, and just introspecting and reflecting how our past year has been and how we plan to spend the coming year? This is exactly what I am doing to do this New Year’s Eve. It’s going to about me, me and me, and of course, my near and dear.

Usually, when we know there’s a party we have to attend, we start stressing about looking the best, and not to mention, this “looking the best” does, most of the times involve a lot of money. So instead of all the stressing and splurging, you can use the money for something useful. Being in the comfort of your house, not only keeps you relaxed, but also keep the pocket heavy and full. That sure is a good reason to stay home! Apart from that, its no new fact that New Year’s Eve is equal to a lot of drinking, and by the end of the night, people are not at their sane and sober best. So, encounters with few overly cheerful and over-friendly drunkards is possible. That also reminds me of the risk of drunk driving, which does not only takes lives of others, but also puts life one’s own life in danger. Who wants that on such a joyous occasion as New Year’s Eve

This year I decided to stay home. I got really sad initially, that I wont be going to any parties or having one at my place, but as I thought about it, I found no reason to be sad. Who says that we need other people to have a party? Party can be with one person too. We go through our individual lives alone, we fight our personal battles on our own, if we do all that with ease, it must not pose a big challenge to spend New Year’s Eve by ourselves at home, all quiet and peaceful. I did not worry about dressing up , I don’t have to worry about how big the bill will be at the end of the night, I don’t have to worry about reaching home safe, and lastly, I don’t have to pretend that I am having fun when  I am actually not.  Being at home, I have had all the time to be comfy in my warm bed, think about all that’s happened in 2016, all the highs and the lows, and I pondered and thought about all that I want to do and achieve in 2017. So, to all those who stayed home on New Year’s Eve, you’re not alone. Just know that sometimes less is more, and there’s no place like one’s home

Have an amazing new year you all 

Lots of warm and cosy hugs

This being my first ever blog post, I thought why not start with something positive? You’re going to be reading a lot of nagging and ranting later on,but for starters, I am going to stay positive (kidding, I am hoping that I stay positive always). My friends are always complaining that I am the biggest worrier there is (which is true) and also a pessimist, always thinking negative before anything actually happens. It’s been 2 years since I have wanted to start blogging, but I never got the nerve to actually go ahead and make one up because, again, over thinking and being a pessimist. I have always held back, a lot of things went on in my mind like, “what if I make some stupid grammatical mistake?”, “What if I get no views on my blog?”, and it goes on. Finally, I decided to lock that negative thinking up, and open the doors of positive thinking being positive. It feels amazing to overcome all the fears and do what you wanted to do. So, I dedicate my first post to my best friend, who pushed and pushed me to start writing, and of course, to all those like me, who over think and let negative thoughts rule their lives.

We have been taught since school days of how the power of positivety can change lives, and it sure does. I know we all go through bad times, and sometimes it’s really difficult to stay positive and not get affected by the negative thoughts. But, we need to remember that none of the ‘negative thinking’ will matter, that for all we know, things can turn out to be in our favour and that everything is alright in the end. This reminds me of countless incidents, where staying positive, even in the most difficult phase of one’s life has resulted in something good happening. The most recent incident that I can share with you is of one of my friend, who was on the verge of losing her grandfather. She and her folks had almost lost all hopes of him surviving after he fell really ill, the doctors too seemed doubtful about him surviving. We, being her friends tried to encourage her to be strong and to stay positive. We asked her to tell us which scenario she liked better, was it thinking that all will be okay, and that her grandfather will survive and be healthy soon, or was it thinking that all is wrong and that he won’t make it? She, of course, chose the former. She understood that it is not important to stay positive for her own sake, but also for the sake of others around her. Sometimes we all need someone to be strong enough for us, and constantly tell us that, “You know what? It’s all going to be fine”. We did that for her, and she did that for her family. She was strong, and she didn’t focus on the negative. And the result you ask? Her grandfather didn’t succumb to his illness. He survived and is getting better each day. It is a very small yet a powerful reminder to all of us to never let negativity govern our lives. We shouldn’t give it the power to keep us from hoping for better things. Life is all about a healthy balance between negative and positive, saying so, to only entertain negative thoughts is to be unfair to life. Let positivety in and you’ll see how better life becomes.

– Negative-Now Positive Nancy